How Now Brown Bovine!

Growing up in a family where I spent all my time with my two wild, rowdy Brothers, swearing became ingrained in my everyday language. As a child/adolescent it was a defence mechanism against bullying and made me appear tougher then I was. As an adult I realise how vulgar I sometimes sound when I forget to make a conscious effort not to use inappropriate language.

The reason I am making such an effort is because I don’t want my son to grow up with the same attitude to language. During work hours and when I'm with my son it becomes easy to not use bad language, it with other adults in social surrounds when I forget to be “proper”.

The issue can sometimes be, what do I replace -bleep- with. Because the “f”, “c”, “s”, and “p” words are so ingrained in my make-up, my vocabulary has become limited and I'm left looking like I'm trying to be overly politically correct, which is something I've never really been "into". Here, I'll try a few to clarify my point.

How, now, brown BOVINE

It's really, PLASMA AND BLOOD CELLS, hot today

Don't be a COPULATING RECTUM SPHINCTER

She's always such a FEMALE PUPPYDOG to her husband but he is also guilty of being a SILLY PORK SAUSAGE to her.

The two consenting adults were …. PLAYING CHECKERS..?

I mean how far exactly do you take it. My hedging, describing words have always been creative. But lately I've been getting more and more creative...

“SWISH SWASH FLUFFIN BUCKET!”

“CRACKEN- SNAFFLE- BACK!”

“CRUDIE-SLAV!”

“FLOSH- LA-KOFF”

Anyone close at the time would be mistaken in thinking that I am studying some sort of foreign language. I've been told it takes 21 days to break a habit. We'll see how it goes.